


Unravelling

by 3RatMoon



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Epistolary, Gen, Post-Spring, very bittersweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22215742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3RatMoon/pseuds/3RatMoon
Summary: Hella tries to keep up her relationship with Lem and Fero through letters. Lem and Fero don't do a great job writing back.
Kudos: 5
Collections: Secret Samol 2019





	Unravelling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SHAYCH___xxvii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHAYCH___xxvii/gifts).



> Happy Secret Samol, Finn!! It was a hard fic to write but I had a lot of fun! I hope you enjoy this sad mess

Dear Lem,

It’s been a while, and you’ve been on my mind, so I thought I would try writing. I’ve been writing to Hadrian, but I’ve been writing to Hadrian since practically we first met. It didn’t occur to me to extend that to my other friends, as dumb as that sounds.

I’ve settled with Adaire in a town a week or so to the southeast(?) of the University. We go by different names here, and live in a little townhouse with other families next to us. Adaire sold her bunk medicines for a bit, but the town is too small to really live off that, even though there’s a lot of people getting sick. Now she’s learning tailoring, which is pretty neat. It reminds me of when we were in Aubade, except without the existential weirdness she had going on then.

As for me, I still spread the word about Adelaide and Adularia, but I do a lot of odd jobs around, too. I hunt bugs, guard folks on short trips to nearby towns… I’m even helping the baker out while they recover from an injury. I thought Emmanuel might like that part. I hope both of you are doing well.

I’ll keep to that for now. Write back when you have the time.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

Lem King-Lasalle  
13 Serpentine Tower  
The Last University

Day 14 of the Season of Weeds, 2 AR

Dear Hella,

I’m sorry for the late response. Things have been as busy as they ever have been, even after Benjamin came for everyone. It sounds dramatic, but it was honestly the most peaceful transition of power I’ve seen? Now there’s folks none of us know well in the Council room, but they were voted in by the people at the University, so it seems fair enough.

I’m happy to hear that you and Adaire are doing well. Considering how quickly her fashions took off in Aubade, tailoring would suit Adaire well, I think. I told Emmanuel about your baking, and he very much approves. He said, “She’s well-suited to the work,” and then flexed. It was very cute. I think he misses you both.

I’m sorry I couldn’t write you more. Paper is a precious commodity now, after so much of it got destroyed by the Stars, and we haven’t figured out how to make more from the new plant-life yet. Something about isolating the fibers.

Let me know how you are doing! I’ll try to reply sooner next time.

Best,  
Lem

* * *

* * *

Hey Fero,

I was told that you sometimes pick up letters sent to this address? It seems like a long shot, but I wanted to try.

Of course, now I don’t know what to write now that I’ve started. You were never one for small talk.

I still think about when we went to Nacre together. Adelaide has made a lot of Adularia in its image, which makes sense for her— it was her home, after all. But me, I just think of us in the prison together, us in the courtroom, us escaping together…

Is it bad that I miss back then? I mean, there’s parts of it I obviously don’t, but sometimes I think of our little boat party, and I get almost kind of homesick.

I don’t know if that’s anything to you, but there it is. I hope you’re doing alright. I’m pretty sure you are. Write me if you can.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

Hella-

Duh, of course it’s bad to miss boat party! Don’t you remember who coined that term?

I hated that trip, and I hated every trip after that.

I’m doing a lot better now that I’m on my own again.

You at least got that part right. And the part about me not liking small talk.

-Fero

* * *

* * *

Dear Lem,

It’s great to hear from you! Fero almost got back before you, and I was a little worried.

I’m glad everything went over smoothly at the University, or as smoothly as it could have gone. I don’t know that I would have stayed, knowing that, but it at least makes me feel better that people are carrying on alright without me. Remember when I was basically in charge of assigning housing to people, just because no one else seemed to want to do it? It’s overwhelming to think about.

It’s kind of funny, how I had no trouble deciding whether someone died at my hand, but deciding who got a house took so much time and work.

Anyway, I’m glad you and Emmanuel are doing well, and I hope you continue to. Write back when you can, what with the paper shortage and everything.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

Fero,

You’re right, it is kind of messed up to miss a time when we took part in the destruction of a whole civilization, huh? My first impression for Adelaide was killing her brother, and then killing her, too, and now she’s my girlfriend and I spread the word about her cool afterlife! I’ve kind of had a messed up life in general. It’s hard to try and not do that anymore.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for me to pick up and leave with Adaire when she smelled trouble. I was getting restless. Maybe I’m getting restless now, and that’s why I’m writing to you. Because you get it.

I wish you had come and had a drink with me and Lem when we were all at the Last University together. Your sense of humor is still the best in person.  
Write me again when you can. Adaire says hi.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

* * *

Hella-

I’m glad you appreciate my sense of humor, and also my being right.

Still, my answer now is the same as it was then. I’m not going for a drink with Lem King.

I didn’t leave the Last University because I was restless. I left because I was sick and tired of getting dragged into yours and everyone else’s mess! Every time, I thought it was just going to be a simple adventure with some friends, but it never was simple, and they never were my friends.

It’s better now that I’m on my own.

Tell Adaire I say hey back.

-Fero

* * *

Fero,

I’m sorry for assuming how you felt about leaving. I didn’t realize that was how it was for you. I mean, I only started to get better at reading people’s feelings in Aubade, and we didn’t hang out much at the Last University, so maybe that’s my fault.

I know letters aren’t much, but if I wasn’t your friend then, I would like to try being your friend, now. Maybe even letters will make it easier, since you’re still on your own how you want to be, and can just reply when you feel like it.

And you don’t have to reply if you don’t want to. I’m sure you already know that.

Adaire says hey hi.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

* * *

Lem King-Lasalle  
13 Serpentine Tower  
The Last University

Day 23 of the Season of Spores, 2 AR

Dear Hella,

Sorry again for such a late response. Emmanuel and I are still doing well, so don’t worry about that. Emmanuel is always busy with new recipes, augmenting old ones with new ingredients and adjusting things here and there. He says that everything is a precise balance in baking, like a pattern. One thing doesn’t neatly substitute another— you have to add more or less of other ingredients, or even add multiple new ingredients to restore the balance.

Maybe it’s Emmanuel, but I find that I’m spending so much time thinking about food, now. It’s like we’re back at the beginning of time, when people had to figure out whether something was edible by pure trial and error. Our records say that over 33% of deaths at the Last University in the past year were due to accidental poisoning of food. I’m working with Throndir and Blue J to create a botanical journal, so more people can learn to tell the difference between safe and not-safe plants. Maybe it can be distributed with the updated farmer’s almanac, too.

In other news, the paper shortage might be over soon. An old papermaker from Rosemerrow found out a way to isolate the fibers from a particular plant— I don’t remember which one— and is just working on creating a binder that won’t break down after a couple weeks. I’ll make sure to send the recipe along as soon as it’s written.

Best,  
Lem

* * *

* * *

Fero,

Still thinking of you. I don’t know what to say other than that.

I miss you, I guess. When I think back, it just strikes me how much I should have listened to you more. Don’t get a big head about it— I still think your ideas for solutions weren’t all that realistic (though, what we went through wouldn’t be what most people would consider realistic, either). But, when I think about what you said, underneath the brashness and the yelling, you always knew what was going on. You saw through the bullshit to what was happening underneath, and if we had just listened, we might have gotten the picture, too.

I don’t know if you’ll find this insulting, or validating, or too sappy, but it’s the truth as I know it.

Let me know if you don’t want me to keep writing you. Just send this back with a big “NO” written at the bottom or something. I’ll stop.  
Hope you’re still doing good.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

* * *

Hella  
2 Upwest Houses  
Backbrook

Day 31 of the Season of Spores, 2 AR

Dear Lem,

It’s nice to hear from you again. I’m trying out your letter headings. For a while I didn’t know what to put there, but the Seasons are starting to gain popularity. How many weeks are in a Season? Six or something? That would make it twenty since you last wrote.

Even after that long, I don’t know what to write about. People are asking more about Adelaide, I guess. We aren’t going to build a temple here or anything, but people have started putting a pearl in a white stone bowl on their mantles and lighting candles for their dead. And yeah, a lot of people have died here, too. Adaire is still doing tailoring, but she’s starting to get drawn back into medicine, too, like trying to make antidotes and stuff. Mostly she’s just made a lot of rat poison, she says.

I miss you. Between you and Fero, there was always something clever to be said. Or, you know, something kind of dumb, but it was fun anyway. I miss the both of you. I know that Nacre wasn’t a great trip, all things considered, but I liked being on a boat with you two. I never got to take you on my boat back in Aubade, and now we live nowhere near anything resembling the sea.

Anyway, I hope you and Emmanuel are doing alright. I know you said not to worry but I kind of always will worry, I think. Try not to get poisoned or anything, alright?

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

Lem King-Lasalle  
13 Serpentine Tower  
The Last University

Day 3 of the Season of Rain, 3 AR

Dear Hella,

I am making a bit of a habit of late replies, aren’t I? Hadrian prodded me about writing you after he received one of your letters. I feel bad for not writing more, but I often am so busy but also somehow don’t know what to say.

Don’t worry about me getting poisoned. I’m not about to go consuming strange flora to see what happens. I’m just helping gather reports into a list of safe and not-safe foods. Emmanuel is excellent at stretching what stores we have, as well, so I doubt we will need to experiment at dinner any time soon.

I’ve noticed some of the folks at the Last University doing the shrines to Adelaide like you describe. Most people seem to follow Hadrian’s new church, but your work certainly hasn’t been for naught. Of course, the most curious following is the people who go to what’s left of Alyosha’s grave to pray. The poor man. His dying wish was to not be worshipped, yet here we are.

Lastly, if it’s quite alright, I’d like to not talk about Fero. Everything between us never really got mended, and it’s an uncomfortable topic.

I hope you and Adaire continue to do well. May Adaire come up with something other than rat poison soon.

Best,  
Lem

* * *

Hella  
2 Upwest Houses  
Backbrook

Day 31 of the Season of Rain, 3 AR

Lem,

Adaire and I are doing well. Adaire has, as you hoped, come up with an antidote for the Lion’s Foot mushroom. I’m not sure if people down at the Last University call it that, so I’ll try and get her to draw it at the bottom of the letter or something.

You know what? I know what happened at the Archives. Ephrim told me. I’m sorry for going around you, but even now it’s easy to see that you won’t talk about it, even after ten years. 

I get it, trust me. I went for most of my life not talking about things. I didn’t have a lot of friends back then. Even Adaire and I weren’t that close. If I’d kept doing that, we probably would have gone separate ways a long time ago. I probably wouldn’t still be writing to Hadrian. Adelaide and I would probably still be tormenting each other. You and Emmanuel went through a lot together, so you have to know what I mean, right?

Maybe I’m just being selfish. I miss the three of us. I want to hang out at a bar or something and talk, not just write letters forever. But, I did leave with Adaire, so some of that is on me.

This ended up being a messy letter. I don’t know what the point of it is. If anything, I hope you are still alright. That’s what matters the most.

Sincerely,  
Hella

* * *

* * *

Hella,

I miss you too. I miss us. But we all fucked that up, so there’s nothing to do.

The letters are nice, though. You can keep writing them.

-Fero


End file.
